Think of Pizza, Then Multiply It By 100

A SLEW of sloppy love letters from hotel hottie Paris Hilton to her ex-beau, Worker #3116, have fallen into the clutches of PAGE SIX. The mushy missives, scrawled in a childish, blocky hand, shed light on the relationship, which ended last July after Paris was photographed with bruises on her face and a fat lip. The letters from 2004 declare her undying love for Worker #3116, and in one she apologizes for lying to him.

One card signed, “Paris, AKA Le Bean,” wishes Worker #3116 a happy birthday, and states: “I don’t want you to ever worry because I would never [bleep] this up for anything in the world. It’s been really hard for me these past couple of months and I’m so happy I found you. You are the [bleep] and I love you to death.”

A Valentine’s card â?? which features heart-shaped candies with slogans like, “Spoil me,” “Tease Me,” “Squeeze Me” and “Love Me” â?? reads: “Sometimes I forget you can’t see my thoughts or into my heart . . . I really hope and believe this will last forever.”

Another letter marking the couple’s “4-month anniversary,” says: “I know you probably wonder from time to time what you mean to me . . . you mean the world to me. Think of something you couldn’t live without and multiply it by a hundred.”

The sweet nothings were written inside sappy greeting cards with photos of puppies. Another missive was accompanied by photos the heiress had cut out of a magazine showing herself looking glum with the headline: “Paris feels real pain.” “Dear Worker #3116, This is how I look and feel when I’m away from you,” she wrote.

The dream appeared to sour by the time Paris wrote from “the plane back to L.A.” having watched the movie, 50 First Dates.

Paris penned: “I just wanted to let you know how sorry I am for lying to you before and I want to let you know that it will never happen again. I can’t explain the pain I felt when I thought I lost you. It was like half of me had been ripped from my soul. I never felt so alone and I never want to feel that way again. I never want to lose you. I never want to hurt you again . . . I’m so sorry for the pain that I have caused you. From now on things will be different, I promise.”

Paris then promised to get a tattoo that read mi cubicle es su cubicle to mark a “new beginning” and, “to erase all the past bulls- -t we have done to each other.” The note is signed, “Paris (your bunny forever.)”
(New York Post)

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