Last night, as you know, was the finale of Real World Road World SuperFight! in which girls and boys from previous MTV shows compete for novelty-sized checks and novelty-sized travel vouchers. Did the boys win? The boys won. Do the boys always win? According to the boys always win. But there was a redeeming quality, which was the quality where the guy said “My whole body is just one big chill.” I’m telling you, I don’t know what kind of radiation treatments MTV gives the stars of its shows to ensure that they are at maximum retardation before they get on the air, but whatever it is, it is very powerful, and very effective. So powerful and effective, in fact, that it makes the viewer just a little bit retarded, too.

I also liked in this show where they were about to sit down to a nice dinner in Casa San Lucas or something and then all these guys busted in dressed in all black and screaming at them and jumping up on the table and smashing their wine glasses and kicking their steaks onto the floor and then they marched them into this “darkened” room and said “Welcome to Hell!” By hell they meant a room with only a little bit of light, and mats on the floor and sleeping bags and clean clothing all laid out and ready. But of course in typical RTV fashion, everyone has to do a “natural setting” interview where they’re like “It was awful! Those mats were not very comfortable, and the tee-shirt they provided was a color that does not match my skin tone as well as I would have liked.”

Meanwhile, in my own Real World Road World Challenge: I have to fight boredom while sitting on a stationary chair and drinking 32 oz of water from a Nalgene bottle as fast as I can so that I can get out of the chair and go fill the bottle up again! I must do this three times a day!

WAIT WAIT WAIT! I’ve got something more to say! I also liked when Eric Nies, who is approximately 137 years old today, wrapped up his experience of competing against women by saying “In situations like this, you know, the adrenaline’s flying…”

Ha ha. Yeah, that’s some of my “adrenaline” in your eye. Pow!

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