Must Eat TV

I watched that show “Big Fat Pants” last night. It’s so good. If you like reality TV, or if you like to see fat people cry, this is for you. It’s about a bunch of fat people living together in a house and finding out what it’s like when fat people stop being polite and start getting real. Real fat. My favorite line was when the host (who could stand to miss a few meals herself) asked this one fat guy, who had just cried, “Tell me the truth, how hard was it to not just come down here and eat all of the carrot cake in that refrigerator?”

The very very BEST part of the show, though, is how they’ve improved on the common reality TV elimination theme. Instead of having a ti-ki torch that gets extinguished, or having their picture digitally removed from a group modeling shot, or a rose ceremony, in “The Fattest Pants” each contestant has a glass-doored refrigerator with their name on it, filled with tempting foods they are dying to eat and when they get eliminated, THE LIGHTS GO OUT IN THEIR REFRIGERATOR.

Fat people are so funny. Have you ever noticed how sometimes a fat person will just bump into stuff without even knowing it because their body is so big they can’t even tell where they’re going? Woopsy-daisy, fat ass, you just broke a priceless Ming Dynasty vase! Lose some weight fatsos!

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