At Least Miss Cleo Had a Funny Jamaican Accent

Does anyone ever read their horoscope on Yahoo!?

Well, stop.

The only thing revealing about Yahoo! horoscopes is how profoundly incomprehensible they are. I’m familiar with the idea of a vague horoscope that allows as many readers as possible to interpret the message to their own liking, but Yahoo! goes the extra mile by actually including contradictory information. “Maybe you will be lucky today, but there is a chance that luck is not on your side.” Shit like that confounds me. Moreover, if you consider Yahoo! horoscopes to be a place for general consultation of the stars, applicable but not particularly tailor-made to your own needs, then sentences like “Bears threaten to eat bulls on the 10th or 11th, and investors may be eyeing the safety nets” should not appear. What the fuck is up with that, Yahoo!? “Bears threaten to eat bulls” doesn’t even make any kind of sense at all.

Now I have to either go express exactly what I’m feeling without fear of others’ reactions, or keep quiet and listen to what people are telling me because they could hold the key to the lock I’ve been struggling to open since the 19th.

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