Adieu, Fuckwads!

Today is my last day in this office, so it’s goodbye to Lambchop, Left Eye, Shaft’s Cousin, Prince Akeem, Gramms, Crazy Aunt, Phylicia Rashad, and Onion Ring.

Prince Akeem came by my desk with this really nice “thinking man” statue from Ghana. He is from Ghana and he just took a trip there. “This is for you,” he said. I was very surprised and thought that it was sort of an over-the-top gesture considering that Prince Akeem and I have not really spoken that much in the entire eight months that I’ve been here. “Actually, I give it to Onion Ring, but she say I have to give it to you, and she the manager, so she call everyone in her office and you were not around or something I don’t know.”

WOW! Thanks, Prince Akeem. I will cherish this regift always. It was very thoughtful of Onion Ring to tell you to give it to me, and even more thoughtful of you to tell me how she made you do so!

I fucking hate this place. And as nice as this “thinking man” statue is, it is clearly a cursed object as it will forever remind me of my work here. I’m sure that at some point this summer I will be drunk and the statue will be on fire.

In related news, I fucking hate this place.

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