Karate Kid IV: Sass Attack

I met the real life Curly Sue! Such a precocious treasure!

12-Year-Old Girl from Karate: Don’t move.
Worker #3116: I have to.
12-Year-Old Girl from Karate: Why?
Worker #3116: I just do. You want to know what else? Next week is my last week.
12-Year-Old Girl from Karate: No.
Worker #3116: Yes.
12-Year-Old Girl from Karate: How could you do this to me?
Worker #3116: Sorry.
12-Year-Old Girl from Karate: You just totally ruined my minute.
Worker #3116: You’ll get another one.

***

Worker #3116: I never had braces.
12-Year-Old Girl from Karate: Why not?
Worker #3116: I don’t know. I didn’t really have a lot of friends, I was embarrassed.
12-Year-Old Girl from Karate: (gasps) Were you a nerd?
Worker #3116: Yeah.
12-Year-Old Girl from Karate: Did you wear glasses?
Worker #3116: No.
12-Year-Old Girl from Karate: Did you pull your socks up over your pants?
Worker #3116: No.
12-Year-Old Girl from Karate: Did you wear plaid?
Worker #3116: No. Look, I looked like a normal kid, I wasn’t that kind of nerd.
12-Year-Old Girl from Karate: Did you go in the computer room all the time?
Worker #3116: No.
12-Year-Old Girl from Karate: Are you shy?
Worker #3116: Do I seem shy?
12-Year-Old Girl from Karate: Yes.
Worker #3116: Oh really? And when have I seemed shy to you?
12-Year-Old Girl from Karate: That time…
Worker #3116: Uh-huh.
12-Year-Old Girl from Karate: When you were four…
Worker #3116: Uh-huh.
12-Year-Old Girl from Karate: And you were at the carnival, and you wouldn’t talk to that lady.
Worker #3116: Right. That time when I was four and you were NEGATIVE A MILLION?
12-Year-Old Girl from Karate: Yes.
Worker #3116: No, I am not shy.

***

12-Year-Old Girl from Karate: Have you ever had a girlfriend?
Worker #3116: Yes.
12-Year-Old Girl from Karate: Was she ugly?
Worker #3116: As a matter of fact no, she was very beautiful.
12-Year-Old Girl from Karate: You’ve only had one?
Worker #3116: I’ve had plenty, don’t worry about it.
12-Year-Old Girl from Karate: Do you have one now?
Worker #3116: No.
12-Year-Old Girl from Karate: Maybe in New Yoooorrrrrkkk!
Worker #3116: Maybe.
12-Year-Old Girl from Karate: You’ve got to keep your options open.
Worker #3116: True.
12-Year-Old Girl from Karate: My cousin lives in New York. She’s your age.
Worker #3116: Um…
12-Year-Old Girl from Karate: She’s blonde.
Worker #3116: Tell me more.

Oh, also, I’m moving to New York in a week.

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