You Heard It Here First

So I saw A History of Violence last night, because as you know, I am working harder than ever to keep YOU up to date on the HOTTEST movies BEFORE they hit the screen.

Basically there’s this guy who owns a diner and then he hits someone in the head with a coffee pot and then he fucks his wife on the stairs. 

How come no one told me that this movie was called A History of Hot Sex Scenes? Jesus Christ, cheerleader role-playing games AND violent stair fucking? Or maybe it should have been called A History of Violent Boners.

ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING, DISCOVERY CHANNEL? THIS SHOW IS AVAILABLE ON DVD FOR YOUR RESEARCH.

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