How Is Made It That You Feel Qualified to Discuss the Nuclear Energy When You Do Not Know the Shit?

Grand-père #3116 likes to include me on the email forwards he sends to his friends. The latest includes this joke:

Guy gets on a plane and finds himself seated next to a cute blonde. He immediately turns to her and makes his move.”You know,” he says, “I’ve heard that flights will go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger. So let’s talk.”

The blonde, who had just opened her book, closes it slowly and says to the guy, “What would you like to discuss?”

“Oh, I don’t know,” says the guy, smiling. “How about nuclear power?”

“OK,” says the blonde. “That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first.  A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff — grass. Yet the deer excretes little pellets, the cow turns out flat patty, and the horse produces muffins of dried poop. Why do you suppose that is?”

The guy is dumbfounded.  Finally he replies, “I haven’t the slightest idea.”

“So tell me,” says the blonde, “How is it that you feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don’t know shit?”

Personally, I found the joke more weird then funny. Like the part where the guy tries to be flirtatious and invite her to talk but then turns the invitation into a command. Or the part where he wants to talk about nuclear power? Muffins of dried poop? But I thought maybe Grandpère #3116 originally heard the joke in French, and it somehow lost its humor in the translation. So I babelfished it to hear the joke in the original:

Le type obtient sur un avion et les trouvailles lui-même posés à côté d’une blonde mignonne. Il se tourne immédiatement vers elle et entreprend sa démarche.”Vous savez,” il dit, “J’avez entendu que les vols iront plus vite si vous frappez vers le haut d’une conversation avec votre passager de camarade. Ainsi parlons.”

La blonde, qui avait juste ouvert son livre, le ferme lentement et dit au type, “ce qui vous aime discuter?”

“OH, je ne sais pas,” dit le type, souriant. “que diriez-vous de l’énergie nucléaire?”

“CORRECT,” dit la blonde. “qui pourrait être une matière intéressante. Mais laissez-moi vous posent une question d’abord. Un cheval, une vache, et un cerf commun tous mangent la même substance — herbe. Pourtant le cerf commun excrète de petits granules, la vache s’avère le petit pâté plat, et le cheval produit des petits pains de sec épuisent. Pourquoi vous supposez qui est?”

Le type est confus. Enfin il répond, “je n’ai pas la plus légère idée.”

“Dites-ainsi moi que,” dit la blonde, “comment se fait il que vous vous sentez qualifié pour discuter l’énergie nucléaire quand vous ne connaissez pas la merde?”

This wasn’t that much funnier, really. Although I do like the part where he asks if she wants to talk about nuclear energy and the lady responds “CORRECT.” So I realized that maybe the original translator had gotten it wrong. I babelfished it to get a more accurate, nuanced telling:

The type obtains on a plane and the lucky finds itself posed beside a nice blonde. It turns immediately to her and takes her step.

“You know,” it says, “I heard that the flights will go more quickly if you strike to the top of a conversation with your passenger of comrade. Thus let us speak.”

The blonde, who had just opened her book, the farm and had slowly called to the type, “What loves you to discuss?” 

“Oh, I do not know,” known as the type, smiling. “That would you say nuclear energy?”

“CORRECT,” known as the blonde. “Which could be an interesting matter. But leave me ask you a question initially. A horse, a cow, and a common stag all eat the same substance — grass. However the common stag excrète of small granules, the cow proves to be small flat pie, and the produced horse of the rolls of dryness exhaust. Why you suppose who is?”

The type is confused. Finally it answers, “I do not have the lightest idea.”

“Known as-thus me that,” known as the blonde, “how is made it that you feel qualified to discuss the nuclear energy when you do not know the shit?”

HA HA HA HA. I get it. Merci, Grandpère #3116, merci beaucoup.

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