On Saturday we went to a dance party and on Sunday I got a http://www.myspace.com message from a homosexual saying that he saw me there and that it looked like I was having a good time and did I have a good time? (translation: do you want my big business inside your butt and/or mouth?)

You know, my http://www.myspace.com profile says STRAIGHT, okay? And just because the picture is me posing on a giant teddy bear, and just because the most recent comment I have received is an animated gif in hot glittery pink that reads “Sexy Bitch,” and just because Avril Lavigne’s “Fall to Pieces” plays in the background, and just because I have a hair salon listed in my “Top 8″ doesn’t mean that I like dick. It says STRAIGHT right on there.