Calvin and Thomas Hobbes

Does anyone know who came up with the “Calvin peeing” window decals that are so popular among the assholescenti?

You do realize that, right? Someone invented that. Do you think you can handle some more? Do you? Okay: they’re rich because of it.

I guess the larger question would be why/how did it become such a phenomenon. Like, okay, a confederate flag sticker? I get it. You hate black people, and you want to use your piece of shit truck as a means of expressing that. You want your hate to travel as far and wide as you do, all the way to Old Country Buffet if that’s what it takes to deliver your “message.” And a “Taz Slam-Dunking a Basketball in Bugs’s FACE” sweatshirt? I AM FEELING YOU SO HARD RIGHT NOW (not gay). Nothing says “street” like the Toons, but in case it wasn’t clear, they are wearing gold chains and playing b-ball. (Does anyone still say b-ball? Besides my mom. Oh my god, I’m turning into my mom. Ha ha ha. Just kidding. Her blog is way racister than mine.) Taz is totally thug life forever.

But the “Calvin peeing” sticker remains a mystery. It’s like “I’m subversive…but I also like the whimsy of childhood and imaginary friends.” It says “I’m a rebel, at least as far as decorating my car with things you can buy in any gas station is concerned.”

Or is it smarter than that? Nowadays you can find stickers with Calvin peeing on all kinds of things (my favorite is posted at the very end of this post)…but at the beginning it was just Calvin peeing…on nothing. How nihillistic. How Sartre! Do we succumb to the absurdity of nothingness, or do we simply drop our pants and say “Here, universe! Here malicious trickster God of cruelty! We pee on your enigmatic existence, and by that we truly embrace life.”

I don’t know. What I do know is here is my favorite:

To the victims of the tragic events of 9/11, know that you did not die in vain:

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