Reposted from e-mail received April 28, 2005
Date: Apr 28, 2005 10:40 PM
Subject: why you fat?
i feel as if you must know what a sass you were in my dream.
so i was in honduras and the other side of the street was mexico and i got really confused as to where i was and then i got kicked out of the peace corps for being pregnant.
so i moved to new york city and you came up to me where i watch the ice skaters fall and sometimes you were you and sometimes you were my friend paul. but you were like, “why aren’t you drinking hot chocolate?” and i was like, “i can’t drink hot chocolate anymore.” but i was really mean about it. and you were all, “let’s go get sushi.” and i was like, “I CAN’T EAT SUSHI. I HATE IT AND I HATE YOU.” and you were like, “why you fat?” and i was like, “GO AWAY!” and you go, “you fat with a baby? you fat with my baby?” and i was like, “SHUT UP.” and you were like, “you are fat. with a peace corps baby. you should be ashamed of yourself.”
but in the middle of my exam this morning i was writing an essay about the pregnancy discrimination act, and i just had this idea of you being like, “you fat with a baby?” which i think is the way you should address your future wife or girlfriend when you get her pregnant.
Done, done, and done.