Last night I had a business dinner with Herb #3116 because I’m helping him write some stuff for his new business. We ate at Mississipi Smokehouse Barbecue Joint, which should be renamed Clownbq, or also “Epcot Center Presents Authentic BBQ Pit”. But on the menu, they had a section titled “Jazzed Soups” so you can imagine that I was very jazzed to see this.
But then I got home and Weather Report was nothing but sass. She was all, sass this, sass that. Then we walked to some ice cream and we saw this man who is friends with my parents, and his two sons, and they started quizzing me on all this shit:
Worker #3116: Is that Dragon Ball?
Boy #1: No, it’s Yu-Gi-Oh!
Boy #2: Woah! How do you know Dragon Ball?
Worker #3116: I know all kinds of stuff.
Boy #1: Do you know Yu-Gi-Oh!?
Boy #2: Yeah, do you know Yu-Gi-Oh!?
Worker #3116: I know it. Do you know Yu-Gi-Oh!: Duelist?
Boy #1: Yeah.
Boy #2: Do you know Pokemon?
Worker #3116: I know Pokemon.
Boy #1: Do you know Harry Potter?
Worker #3116: Know it.
Boy #2: Do you know Magic: The Gathering.
Worker #3116: Totally.
Boy #1: How do you know so much?
Worker #3116: I’m a lot older than you are. I’ve been to college.
Boy #1: Do you know Dragon Booster?
Worker #3116: No. You got me there.
Boy #2: Do you know Metal Warrior?
Worker #3116: No.
Boy #1: YES!
Boy #2: YES! WE STUMPED HIM!
[They give each other high-fives.]
Worker #3116: You guys are nerds.
Boy #1: Yeah.
Boy #2: Yeah.
Boy #1: I’m more of a computer nerd, and he’s more of a game nerd.
Boy #2: More like Game BOY nerd!
Worker #3116: Ha ha.
(NB: The best part of this entire exchange was that the last thing Boy 2 said was said in that tone that you would use to make fun of someone, like “I’m special,” “More like Special-ed!” except that he was saying it about himself.)
These are the boots Weather Report was wearing. They are for children!
And then Stevil was trying to study and he yelled “I’m TRYING to STUDY” and I was like, “All y’all shut your mouths,” and then somehow at some point I remember talking about seafood and Stevil said, “We’re basically on a coast.”