So I was listening to Timbaland’s “Give It to Me” (feat. Nelly Furtado and Justin Timberlake) yesterday, because it was 6:45 and that is when I listen to Timbaland’s “Give It to Me” (feat. Nelly Furtado and Justin Timberlake), when I noticed that Timbaland was directing an unusual taunt at me:
I get a half a mill for my beats you get a couple grand
never gonna see the day that I ain’t got the upper hand
I’m respected from californ.i.a. way down to japan
I’m a real producer and you just the piano man
your song gonna top the charts, I heard em, I’m not a fan
OK, well first of all, Timbaland, you make a lot more money than me. I’m not going to argue with you there. But I make a couple grand per beat, and even if I only make one beat per week, I’m still pulling in a six figure salary. It just seems ridiculous for someone who knows how hard it can be to make a living doing something that you love and that keeps you feeling creatively satisfied to make a mockery of a six-figure salary.
This upper-hand stuff just makes you sound paranoid.
Also, I really don’t think it’s that big of a deal to be respected from California to Japan. They’re right next to each other, and there’s a huge Japanese population in California because of this. You don’t see me talking about how I’m respected from Michigan all the way to the Upper Peninsula of Michigan. Besides, who isn’t respected in Japan? I’m sorry, but Edward Furlong was a respected singer in Japan. Edward Furlong.
Oops, I think you meant this line about Billy Joel.
OH COME ON, TIMBALAND. This is like Paris Hilton complaining about the invasiveness of the paparazzi. The charts made you, motherfucker. And don’t act like the fact that my songs are hugely popular somehow makes me less of an artist. There are a lot of respectable musicians making the charts these days. Even Arcade Fire’s new album debuted at, like, number two or something, and lots of the more mainstream artists (ever heard of Justin Timberlake? YOUR BOYFRIEND) who are putting out chart-ready pop songs are still undeniably talented. This is where your whole taunt just falls completely flat to me, and it’s so disingenuous that it makes even some of your less preposterous boasts ring false. How is that upper-hand working out for you?
I’m just saying that it’s a dangerous road you are walking, Tim, when you make Nelly Furtado the most reliable narrator in your song: “you love my ass and my abs and the video called promiscuous,” TRUE!