Monthly Archives: December 2006

AIDS and Marriage Horse and Carriage

Relationship experts report that too many couples fail to ask each other critical questions before marrying. Here are a few key ones that couples should consider asking:
(New York Times)

1. Hey, you got AIDS?

2. DO YOU HAVE AIDS?

3. How is that not my business?

4. I’m feeling threatened by your unwillingness to talk to me about this, and I’m also feeling threatened by AIDS.

5. I know that’s not a question. You seriously think I don’t know what is and what isn’t a question?

6. So you think I’m retarded?

7. Why haven’t we talked about this before?

8. Well, when IS it a good time for you to tell me I’m retarded?

9. If we had a baby and it was retarded how do you know it’s not your fault?

10. No! Are you drunk?

Quaint

max:Today I experienced a Christmas miracle, in that it is a bit overcast so the sun doesn’t get too bright in my living room, thus allowing me to easily watch TV in the daytime.
This is what I live for now.
worker3116: god loves all his children
even you, max
max:God don’t make no trash.
worker3116: well
he makes some trash
max:The bright sun is an example of trash he makes.
Because I don’t need that shit.
Not when there’s OnDemand to consume.
worker3116: oh
i was thinking
you know
like poor people
max:Oh, right.
That’s a better example.
Also, the sport of soccer, and people who ride bicycles.
worker3116: frisbee
max:Right, right, good call.
Man, god makes a lot of trash.
worker3116: yeah
do you think when someone has like a mentally retarded brother
or
someone who got held back
that they say “my momma raised one dummY”
max:Haha
worker3116: there we go
i just wrote a diary post
max:I didn’t realize it was that easy.
worker3116: yeha
industry secret

It’s Thursday, You Ain’t Got No Job, You Ain’t Got Shit to Do

Last weekend Ti-1000 and Lenny Travitz were basically bragging about how they had spent the whole day watching Ghostbusters in Spanish and then Ti-1000 pointed out “we weren’t even high.” But that’s the thing, this was not unusual behavior for them, and they don’t smoke weed, so that got me thinking how if they started it would probably improve their lives. Set up. And now the punchline of some examples:

“Oh man, last night I got totally baked and finally broke the six minute mile.”

“Dude, do you want to just smoke down tonight and finish some early returns on our taxes?”

“I’ve got some killer munchies. HAHAHAHAHHAHHA. Let’s get a salad with the dressing on the siiiiiide.”

“Don’t bogart the dictionary, dude, I’m highlighting all the words I don’t already know.”

“Put on Harold and Kumar Go to the National Geographic Channel.”

Iran-curious

(huffingtonpost.com)

Is it just me, or are you totally confused by Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad? On the one hand, he’s a terrifying extremist and Holocaust denier with nuclear ambitions to God knows what end, and on the other hand there isn’t anyone in the world who looks like more fun to go grab a pomegranate martini.